Tatiana Mikhailovna

jeralyndwile:

Do you think that if more people lived together before they got married there would be less divorces? My sister and I were talking about that. Put in your vote.

I personally think that in theory it might sound good but I think that ultimately it is better to wait for two reasons. Firstly, I think that living together simply enables the non-commital types. Those type of people get to have their cake and eat it too; its like you live with the person but you’re not sure enough about them to make a life-long commitment. I know of a lot of women who after investing years in a relationship like this are left with nothing - no money, no place to live, etc. Secondly, I believe that there is something sacred about marriage. When two people start living together after they are married there should always be this idea in their minds that what they have created is of extreme importance. In a way its to hold you accountable and let me explain that statement. A lot of people are tempted to say “well if all thats holding you together is a piece of paper…” But this is what I mean, we are all flawed individuals with hundreds of issues, personal problems, and other things clouding our judgment at all times. And sometimes I would like to think that if we are personally in a moment of weakness that maybe remembering why we made those vows in the first place and the weight that they hold could mean the difference between a divorce or not. If its not a marriage its much easier to leave; no mess, no paperwork, just take your stuff and go.

P.S. There was an article I read one or two years ago in Psychology Today that talked about the research done on divorce rates for couples that live together and the evidence proved that they got divorced slightly more that couples that did not.

UPDATE: The article is on their website The Perils of Playing House.

what i learned this week.

mascarah:

This week has been a full fledged emotional roller coaster for me….here are my brief findings:

• Managing expectations isn’t just key to business, it is key to life.
• Having a good cry CAN make you feel good.
• People can really disappoint you and then go 180 and totally surprise you within less than 24 hours, the ups and downs are part of the ride.
• It is always better to say what you feel you need to say. Do not leave things unsaid.
• If you are hurting as a result of the actions of someone else, chances are they are hurting too, you should talk about it.
• The best way to live life is with your eyes, mind, and heart wide open.
• People that you choose to care about in life might not always be convenient and it might not always be easy, but if you care about them, taking the risk (no matter how it ends up) will always be worth it.
• Ultimately, everything seems to come down to give and take.
• As scary as it is to know that it is possible to be hurt, it is equally (if not more) exciting to know that you care enough that the hurt is possible.

 That was so well said. My thoughts exactly. Thank you, you are such a wonderful and inspirational person!